List Of All The Site's Articles

This page is the main listing of all the site's articles on how to improve your social skills, and on how to get past awkwardness, shyness, loneliness, not being accepted for being different, and other interpersonal problems.

Avoiding Overwhelm

The list below is pretty extensive. I don't think there's a way around that. Social skills and human relationships is a topic with more to it than some people initially assume. Some readers have commented that they feel overwhelmed when they first see everything here, so here are some thoughts on how to make using the site feel more manageable:
  • Don't feel you have to read everything on this site. Not everything here is going to apply to every visitor.
  • Don't feel you have to read everything in order. Feel free to jump to the sections that are most relevant to what you want to work on at the moment.
  • Don't feel you have to read everything right away. It'll take you some time to improve your social skills anyway, so feel free to read the articles you're interested in at a comfortable pace.
  • Don't feel you have to read everything first before you start applying the ideas in real life. Learn a handful of initial suggestions that you want to try, get out there and use them, and then come back for further advice and clarification as needed.
  • Don't fall into an All-or-Nothing thought pattern where you think, "Well I don't see myself reading and applying every last thing here, so I may as well do nothing at all." You may still be able to gain noticeable benefits from only using a small amount of the site's content.
  • One way to ease yourself into things is by reading this summary article: The Main Concepts On SucceedSocially.com
  • Three of the site's main sections - Making Friends, Fears/Shyness/Insecurities, Conversation - all begin with a short summary article that outlines the core practical steps from the writing you'll need to implement.
  • Here's an article to read if you're feeling stuck about what problems to work on first.

Some Options For Browsing The Site's Content

Further down is a list of all the site's articles, but first I'll provide some options for getting to the section that may be most relevant to you:

Search The Site

You could also try doing a search of the site's writing. There's a search bar in the site's right hand column as well.



Complete Article List

And if you didn't click one of the links above to jump to a certain section, here's the whole list to scroll through on your own:


The Idea of Changing

You may be coming to this site with a bunch of social changes you want to make, and you have no internal conflict about doing any of it. If you fit that bill you may want to skip or skim over this section.

Some readers are more wary about the idea of having to change to do better socially. The concept may make them think of things like conforming and selling out, or having to change more about themselves than they'd like. There aren't any single, neat answers for this issue, but these articles explore it from a number of perspectives.

The Three General Philosophies Towards Changing

The Being True To Yourself Approach to Changing
The Pragmatic Adaptation Approach To Changing
The Truly Trying To Change Yourself Approach To Changing

Some Other Issues That The Idea Of Changing Raises

Changing Your Social Skills vs. Changing Your Entire Personality
What's a Social Difference And What's A Social Weakness?
Are Certain Social Traits Changeable Or Not?
For Any Trait Keep The Good Parts And Toss The Bad
Social Skills Are Ultimately Subjective
Ideas That Can Excuse Not Working On Your Social Weaknesses

The Question Of Whether To Change Socially At All

Why Even Be More Social In The First Place?
Pragmatic Motivations People Have For Improving Their Social Skills
It's Very Tricky To Know What You Want Socially
Social Skills Are Very Nice To Have But Ultimately Optional


Not Fitting Into The Norm

Sure, this site is about improving your social skills, but before I get to that I have to mention some of the interpersonal problems people have really have more to do with the friction they get for not fitting into the same mold as everyone else.

When Your Main Social Problem Is That You Don't Fit In
Getting Away With Doing Your Own Thing Socially
Bitterness About Being Socially Misunderstood

Being Less Naturally Social

It's Okay Not To Be As Sociable As Other People
Stereotypes About Less Social People
How Being Less Naturally Social Can Affect Your Success


The Process of Improving

These articles are about the broader process of improving your social skills. You won't find any specific tips on topics like making conversation here. If you see improving your social skills as a long road, these articles will give you some insights about what to expect on the way.

An Article To Start Things Off

You're Not Alone If You're Awkward, And There's Hope Of Improving

Time Required

How Long Does It Take To Get Past Your Social Problems?
There's No Quick, Effortless Way To Fix Your Social Problems

Some Central Principles of Improving

Why You Need To Directly Practice Social Skills And How To Do It
Indirectly Become More Successful By Improving As A Person
The Importance Of Simplicity And The Basics In Social Interactions
Overall Attitudes That Will Help You Improve Your People Skills

Goal Setting

Setting Goals For Improving Your Social Skills
Less Healthy Motivations For Working On Your Social Problems

Trouble Getting Started

When You Don't Know Where To Start Working On Your Social Issues
Overcoming Laziness Towards Working On Your Social Problems
Are You Fully Ready To Change Your Social Problems?
Some Reasons People May Put Off Working On Their Social Issues

What to Expect

Stages You Can Go Through As You Improve Your Social Skills
Having A Realistic Idea Of The Effects Of Fixing Your Social Problems
How Socializing Can Get Easier And Harder As You Grow Older
Times You Feel Unusually 'On' In Social Situations
"Epiphany Addiction"

The Role Of Knowledge And Lifestyle

Factors That Can Boost Your Social Success Quite Quickly
Lifestyle Factors That Can Affect Your Social Success
How Traveling/Backpacking Can Boost Your Social Skills
Reading More Can Indirectly Boost Your Social Success
Ways People In High School Can Work On Their Social Skills

Thoughts On Some Types Of Advice

Social Skills And Self-Help Advice I'm Not Crazy About
Attitudes Towards Socializing That Are Easier Said Than Done
How to Win Friends and Influence People Isn't A Complete Guide

Lack Of Results

When You've Tried Everything But Still Aren't Improving

Seeking Outside Support

The Option Of Seeing A Therapist About Your Social Issues
Therapy And Support Groups For Social Skills Issues
Worries Or Misconceptions People Can Have About Psychotherapy
Worries And Misconceptions People Can Have About Therapists


Getting Drained By Socializing

This hardly qualifies as a whole section, but the topic doesn't neatly fit into one of the other categories, but is too important to hide away with the other Miscellaneous articles.

When You Easily Get Drained And Tired In Social Situations
Reasons People May Feel Drained While Socializing


Shyness, Fears, Insecurities, and Negative Emotions

These are issues that can get in the way of learning or applying social skills. There are a lot of articles here. They all share the common theme of being related to unpleasant emotional states, like anxiety or sadness, or negative types of thinking such as feeling self-conscious, insecure, and unconfident.

The Main Tasks For Dealing With Shyness, Fears, and Insecurities

Shyness and Social Anxiety

Getting Over Shyness
Social Anxiety Disorder / Social Phobia

Negative Emotions

The Nature Of Anxiety
When Depression Is A Factor In Your Social Problems
Anger Management Strategies For Adults

General Approaches For Improving Overall Mood

Lifestyle Changes That Can Improve Mood
Two Simple Exercises To Help You Think More Positively

Understanding Maladaptive Thoughts

Some Basic Concepts About Maladaptive Thoughts
Cognitive Distortions And Socializing
Attributional Style And Socializing
Common Worries Shy Or Insecure People Have
Common Limiting Beliefs About The Social World

Dealing With Maladaptive Thoughts

Challenging Maladaptive Thoughts
Accepting And Rolling With Maladaptive Thoughts

Dealing With Anxiety

Overall Attitudes For Handling Anxiety
Coping With Anxiety In The Moment
Coping With Nervousness Before An Unavoidable Social Situation
Coping With Nervousness Before Optional Social Behaviors
Breathing And Relaxation Exercises For Stress And Anxiety
How Effective Are Breathing And Relaxation Exercises For Anxiety?
Coping With Panic Attacks

Facing Your Fears

Why It's Essential To Face Your Social Fears
How To Face Your Bigger Social Fears Gradually
Examples Of Ways To Gradually Face Various Social Fears
A Giant List Of Common Social Fears

Confidence

Observations On Becoming More Self-Confident
The Link Between Social Skills And Self-Confidence

Dealing With Rejection

Handling Social Rejection, Mistakes, and Setbacks


Meeting People And Making Friends

This section covers the steps that go into making friends, from finding people to meet, to organizing plans with them, to working out some of the kinks in your relationship.

The Main Tasks For Creating A Social Life

Basic Principles

How to Make Friends And Get A Social Life
How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships
Mistakes Lonely People Often Make
How To Get Back In Touch With An Old Friend Or Acquaintance

Meeting People

How To Meet People
How To Find Events And Clubs In Your Community
Improving Your Social Prospects Before You Try Meeting Anyone

Making Plans

Making Plans With People
Examples Of Ways To Invite People To Hang Out
Inviting Yourself To Social Events
Things To Do With Other People
Examples Of Organizing Various Group Social Plans

Making Friends In Specific Situations

How To Make Friends In College Or University
How To Make Friends In A New City / After University
Making Friends When You're Married

Forming Certain Types Of Social Circles

How To Make A Group Of Friends
How To Have A Lot Of Friends And Create A Large Social Circle

Problems With Making Friends

When Your Life Circumstances Interfere With Your Social Life
Problems You Can Have While Trying To Make Friends In College
When People Don't Seem Interested In Starting Friendships With You
When You Feel Like You Don't Fully Fit Into Any Social Group

Planning Problems

Worries People Often Have About Making Friends And Plans
Ways People Can Unintentionally Leave Friends Out Of Social Events
When Friends Are Always Late Or Unreliable

Problems With Existing Friends

When You Feel Like A Second Tier Member Of Your Social Group
When You Feel Like Your Social Circle Is Indifferent To You
When Your Friends Tease You A Lot
When You Feel Like Your Group Of Friends Could Be Better
Why Awkward People Don't Always Get Along With Each Other

Advice Geared Towards Men

When You're A Guy Who Has Trouble Relating To Other Guys
Is It Okay To Hang Out With Another Guy One-On-One?






Developmental Differences

Some social skills problems arise from inborn differences in how people's brains are wired.

Asperger's Syndrome

How Asperger's Syndrome / High-Functioning Autism Affects Adults
Ways Adults With Asperger's Syndrome Can Improve Socially

Learning Disabilities

Non-Verbal Learning Disabilities And Their Effect On Socializing

Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

How Adult ADHD Can Affect Social Skills And Relationships