List Of All The Site's Articles
This page is the main listing of all the site's articles. If you find it a tad overwhelming here are some quick suggestions to take the edge off.
Here's a list of the categories the articles are organized under. Click a link to jump to that section.Introductory Articles
The Idea Of Changing
Not Fitting Into The Norm
The Process Of Improving
Getting Drained By Socializing
Shyness, Fears, Insecurities, and Negative Emotions
Meeting People And Making Friends
Socializing In Various Situations
Improving The Overall Package You Present
Having A Negative View Of Certain Aspects Of Socializing
Helping Or Relating To People With Social Issues
How the site came about, some of the philosophies behind it, and some background information on social skills.
A Summary Of The Site's Bigger Ideas
About The Site
The Site's Philosophies
Background Information On Social Skills
You may be coming to this site with a bunch of social changes you want to make, and you have no internal conflict about doing any of it. If you fit that bill you may want to skip or skim over this section.
Some readers are more wary about the idea of having to change to do better socially. The concept may make them think of things like conforming and selling out, or having to change more about themselves than they'd like. There aren't any single, neat answers for this issue, but these articles explore it from a number of perspectives.
The Three General Philosophies Towards Changing
Some Other Issues That The Idea Of Changing Raises
Changing Your Social Skills vs. Changing Your Entire Personality
What's a Social Difference And What's A Social Weakness?
Are Certain Social Traits Changeable Or Not?
For Any Trait Keep The Good Parts And Toss The Bad
Social Skills Are Ultimately Subjective
Ideas That Can Excuse Not Working On Your Social Weaknesses
The Question Of Whether To Change Socially At All
Why Even Be More Social In The First Place?
Pragmatic Motivations People Have For Improving Their Social Skills
It's Very Tricky To Know What You Want Socially
Social Skills Are Very Nice To Have But Ultimately Optional
Sure, this site is about improving your social skills, but before I get to that I have to mention some of the interpersonal problems people have really have more to do with the friction they get for not fitting into the same mold as everyone else.
It's Okay To Be Less Social, Be Quiet, Not Like Sports, etc.
When Your Main Social Problem Is That You Don't Fit In
Getting Away With Doing Your Own Thing Socially
Bitterness About Being Socially Misunderstood
Being Less Naturally Social
These articles are about the broader process of improving your social skills. You won't find any specific tips on topics like making conversation here. If you see improving your social skills as a long road, these articles will give you some insights about what to expect on the way.
An Article To Start Things Off
Some Central Principles of Improving
Why You Need To Directly Practice Social Skills And How To Do It
Indirectly Become More Successful By Improving As A Person
The Importance Of Simplicity And The Basics In Social Interactions
Overall Attitudes That Will Help You Improve Your People Skills
Trouble Getting Started
When You Don't Know Where To Start Working On Your Social Issues
Overcoming Laziness Towards Working On Your Social Problems
Are You Fully Ready To Change Your Social Problems?
Some Reasons People May Put Off Working On Their Social Issues
What to Expect
Stages You Can Go Through As You Improve Your Social Skills
Having A Realistic Idea Of The Effects Of Fixing Your Social Problems
How Socializing Can Get Easier And Harder As You Grow Older
Times You Feel Unusually 'On' In Social Situations
The Role Of Knowledge And Lifestyle
Factors That Can Boost Your Social Success Quite Quickly
Lifestyle Factors That Can Affect Your Social Success
How Traveling/Backpacking Can Boost Your Social Skills
Reading More Can Indirectly Boost Your Social Success
Ways People In High School Can Work On Their Social Skills
Thoughts On Some Types Of Advice
Lack Of Results
Seeking Outside Support
The Option Of Seeing A Therapist About Your Social Issues
Therapy And Support Groups For Social Skills Issues
Worries Or Misconceptions People Can Have About Psychotherapy
Worries And Misconceptions People Can Have About Therapists
This hardly qualifies as a whole section, but the topic doesn't neatly fit into one of the other categories, but is too important to hide away with the other Miscellaneous articles.
These are issues that can get in the way of learning or applying social skills. There are a lot of articles here. They all share the common theme of being related to unpleasant emotional states, like anxiety or sadness, or negative types of thinking such as feeling self-conscious, insecure, and unconfident.
Shyness and Social Anxiety
General Approaches For Improving Overall Mood
Understanding Maladaptive Thoughts
Some Basic Concepts About Maladaptive Thoughts
Cognitive Distortions And Socializing
Attributional Style And Socializing
Common Worries Shy Or Insecure People Have
Common Limiting Beliefs About The Social World
Dealing With Maladaptive Thoughts
Dealing With Anxiety
Overall Attitudes For Handling Anxiety
Coping With Anxiety In The Moment
Coping With Nervousness Before An Unavoidable Social Situation
Coping With Nervousness Before Optional Social Behaviors
Breathing And Relaxation Exercises For Stress And Anxiety
How Effective Are Breathing And Relaxation Exercises For Anxiety?
Coping With Panic Attacks
Facing Your Fears
Confidence And Self-Esteem
Dealing With Rejection
This section covers the steps that go into making friends, from finding people to meet, to organizing plans with them, to working out some of the kinks in your relationship.
Making Friends In Specific Situations
Forming Certain Types Of Social Circles
Problems With Making Friends
When Your Life Circumstances Interfere With Your Social Life
Problems You Can Have While Trying To Make Friends In College
When People Don't Seem Interested In Starting Friendships With You
When You Feel Like You Don't Fully Fit Into Any Social Group
Problems With Existing Friends
When You Feel Like A Second Tier Member Of Your Social Group
When You Feel Like Your Social Circle Is Indifferent To You
When Your Friends Tease You A Lot
When You Feel Like Your Group Of Friends Could Be Better
Why Awkward People Don't Always Get Along With Each Other
Advice Geared Towards Men
Many people say they struggle in this area, that they can't think of things to say, or they fear awkward silences, or they have trouble handling certain types of conversation.
Keeping Conversations Going
Asking Questions And Making Statements
Some Popular Overall Approaches For Making Conversation
How To Think Of Things To Say When Making Conversation
How To Be Less Quiet And Contribute to Group Conversations
Ways To Deal With Awkward Silences In Conversations
Listening And Being Interested In People Isn't A Cure-All
Having Things To Say To Someone You Know Well
Types of Conversation
How To Do Better In Loud, Crazy Group Conversations
Some Thoughts On The Point Of Small Talk
On The Spot vs. Lower Pressure Conversations
Running Into An Acquaintance You Don't Have Much To Say To
When People Say "How's It Going?", "What's Up?" or "What's New?"
Advice on navigating specific scenarios which give people trouble.
These articles are about various ways you can become more socially polished and enjoyable to be around.
Being More Fun And Friendly
The Importance of Getting Your Appearance In Order
Learning To Make More Eye Contact With People
When People Say You Always Looks Angry/Upset/Worried/etc
When Having A Quiet Voice Hampers Your Social Success
Things That Can Make You Seem More Socially Awkward
Ways People Can Be Seen As "Nice" In The Bad Sense Of The Word
Social Mistakes Intellectual People Can Make
Reasons Someone May See You As Weird
Being Guarded, Secretive, And Defensive
Being Too Negative In Social Situations
Being Less Naive And Innocent And Getting More Of An Edge
Feeling Overly Intimidated By Certain Types Of People
One barrier that gets in the way of some people's social success is that they don't have the warmest opinions on certain aspects of socializing.
Negative Attitude Towards Others
Negative Attitudes Towards Certain Things
Some social skills problems arise from inborn differences in how people's brains are wired.
Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
While most of this site contains advice on how people can improve their own social skills, here's one how you can support someone who know who struggles in this area.
Assorted articles that don't neatly fit elsewhere.