About The Site's Author
My name's Chris. I'm a guy in his late twenties who lives in Canada. I write everything on this site, as well as run it the best I can.
My story
The majority of the information on this site is derived from my personal experiences and observations. I had to figure out a lot of basic social skills from scratch, and have thought a lot about the topic.
I used to be really lonely and socially awkward. I had my good traits too of course, but my bad ones strongly hindered them when it came to social or romantic situations:
- I was painfully shy, insecure, negative, and a little weird.
- In high-school I spent most of my free time leveling up my characters in Super Nintendo RPG's.
- At times I could count the number of friends I had on one hand, and some of them were more like acquaintances.
- In university I spent most of my spare time alone in my dorm room or apartment, in front of my computer.
- In my first two years of university sometimes weeks and weeks would go by between me having plans with people for a weekend.
- I had tons of mistaken beliefs about how the social world worked.
- I looked like a stereotypical nerd.
- I was a late-bloomer when it came to relationships as well and didn't really start getting a handle on that until my early twenties.
Naturally my social problems occupied a lot of my time and I was constantly reading Self-Help books and websites trying to pull myself out of my rut. I started making the most progress when I started focusing on being an all-around more personable and well-rounded guy and working on my basic social skills. Before I was looking for tricks to make people like me and magical motivational insights that would solve my problems instantly.
When I did that things just started clicking into place. Nothing miraculously happened overnight but through a slow, steady process I started to become more of a well-adjusted guy.
My social skills now
I now consider myself contentedly average when it comes to my social skills. I think more importantly, I'm happy with the results my improved social skills have gotten me. I have a good group of friends, I have fun on the weekends, and people generally consider me a pretty likable, laid back guy. I'm pretty confident and at ease with myself. I'm also pretty comfortable when it comes to dating and relationships.
I'm hardly the most popular, charismatic person in the world though. I have my awkward or insecure moments like everyone else. If you asked my friends or family, they could easily rattle off a bunch of quirks I have. But since no one's perfect I consider that part of being happily normal.
As I've written this site one doubt I would occasionally have is, "Your own social skills aren't perfect, who are you to give advice about this topic?" The answer I'd give myself is that this site is about getting over social awkwardness. It's about how to go from Below Average to Average. This is something I definitely have experience in. It isn't about how to become some super magnetic person with the power to instantly make everyone love them. I do my best to stick to what I feel qualified to talk about.
My education
Most of what I write here is based on my own experiences, theories, and research. Even if I had a degree in Geology I'd probably have written the same site. However, my academic background is in mental health.
I have a Bachelor's degree in Psychology. I'm currently in graduate school training to become a therapist. I created this site a couple of years before starting grad school. I'd say what made me want to make this site, and what made me want to continue my education, is the same underlying interest in psychology, how humans tick, and wanting to help people.
Right now I'm a beginner in the counseling field. I'm not done my degree yet, but I have had some hands-on clinical experience through my internships. And obviously when I do have my degree, my development as a professional will be ongoing. There's so much to learn.
In the future I'm not sure where I'll end up exactly career-wise, but I would like to do at least some work with people who have social issues. It's only fitting, right? I'm sure I'll figure out a way to link this site into it all too.
I think my education is interesting in terms of my qualifications to write about social skills. Like I said, most everything on here is stuff I would have written anyways. I also don't think having some letters behind your name automatically makes you an authority on something. I believe information should be judged on how useful people find it, regardless of where it came from.
However, I think what I've learned in school and through my internships colors my perception of certain things, and has a positive influence on how I approach the topic. Also, at the very least I guess it shows I'm probably not some totally random, unreliable person.
Since starting my graduate degree I've already learned a ton. It's a fair bet that as my training continues, it will affect the direction this site goes in.
Why anonymous?
The simple answer is that I just find it more convenient that way at the moment. I like having this site as my little side project, without it having much of an impact on my day-to-day life. Sooner or later I'll drop that though.
