Thoughts On How To Be More Interesting
The title says it all. I'll say this in one of the more basic/obvious articles, but I think there's still some goodness in it.
Being interesting is about introducing people to new things
If I had to come up with a personal definition of what makes someone interesting, it's that they have knowledge that other people would want to have, but don't yet. It doesn't have to be straight-up facts either. It could be things such as: little pieces of trivia, ideas, tastes, concepts, philosophies, perspectives, or world views. You can probably think of a time where you met someone with a cool job or lifestyle and you were eager to pick their brain and take in all their stories and little anecdotes. Or you likely know someone who looks at things just a little differently and you enjoy hearing his little opinions about the world. Or maybe you know someone who, whenever you go out with them, always knows neat little facts about whatever bar you go to or the band your seeing. Finally, you could know someone with unique style and tastes. This person's taste indirectly introduces you to new things, and you're drawn towards it.
If you want to be more interesting be the real deal and live a fun life
Being more interesting isn't about sitting around at home an hour before meeting your friends for dinner and cramming some fun-facts into your head to bring up later. It's about living a varied life and really becoming the kind of person who has new things they can introduce to people. In high-school I could definitely have been interesting about video games, and maybe had a thing or two to say about movies or skepticism, but that was largely it. I was quite one-dimensional and narrow in my interests.
Now I can go on about all kinds of things. I know about a wider range of topics, I've traveled, I've gotten in some situations worth telling stories about, and I've developed some unique little philosophies on life. Mainly I just have more life experience. There are lots of areas where I have info that other people would want to hear about. At some point I realized that I wasn't going to be wowing many people if all I could talk about was the latest trick to quickly level up your characters in some game.
So try to fill your brain up with a lot of knowledge and experience. This is hardly a chore to do, though you may need to make a conscious decision to not devote all your time to your handful of natural interests at the expense of everything else. Read widely. If a festival comes to your city, check it out and be able to report on it instead of staying in. Listen to other interesting people. Seek out new places in your town. Try new things. Expose yourself to new ideas. Listen to new music. Watch new movies. Form your own opinions. Don't just do the same things week after week. Do this enough, and for a long enough time, and you really will be an interesting person. At this point all you have to do is open your mouth and count on that what you have to say will be good.
Learn to present what you have to say in an engaging manner
Being interesting is as much about how you say something as what you have to say. Two people could have the same basic story, but one person may present it as an endless, rambling anecdote. The second might package it as a short, hilarious performance piece. An interesting person can take a mundane topic, like what happened at work that day, and turn into a snappy monologue. An uninteresting person can be talking about something inherently cool and suck the life out of it.
There are certain things that people have asked me about several times, and that I know I'll have to discuss again. I've learned to have a neat little story ready to go for them. Like I went skydiving a few years ago. Not everyone cares, but if the topics comes up and someone asks me about it, I've got a mini-speech prepared. I'd like to think it's pretty interesting...
For any other topic, if I have to speak about something I put at least some effort into editing out the crap and presenting it an interesting light. I'll try to inject my humor and views into what I have to say. I guess it's almost a type of performance talent that improves with practice.
Another part of this presentation aspect of being interesting is the overall package you present to people. If you come off as someone worth listening to, then people will be more likely to hear what you have to say. If you seem like someone who's better off being ignored, then people may not give the interesting things you have to say a chance.
Develop an instinct for the things people want to hear about
This is connected to the points above. There's no point in saying something if the other person doesn't care about it. You've got to know your audience to a degree and tailor your conversation to what they'd prefer to hear about. Like say your grandma asks you about how college is going. You may be interesting by going into detail about the subjects you're taking. If your parents ask, you may concentrate on the people you're meeting and how you're fitting in, because you can tell that's what they primarily want to know about. You may tell your home-town buddies drinking stories.
You also have to gauge how much information someone wants. Say someone says something that reminds you of a story you have. You may realize you have to cut it down to thirty seconds, otherwise people's attention will wander.
Being interesting is about fostering your uniqueness
You can hardly be interesting if you have the same things to say as everyone else. It comes from adding that unique perspective that only you can offer. Your opinion about a political issue may be flavored by a handful of history books you read. Another person's view may be influenced by a certain job they had. Maybe another person has some firsthand insider knowledge about the issue. They're all bringing something to the discussion that only they can, and that the other participants (hopefully) want to be filled in on.
If my friends and I are sitting around and talking, there are lots of things that only I can add to the conversation. I can add them because I've spent some time doing my own thing and delving into areas that interested me. In the process I've acquired novel knowledge, perspectives, and experiences.
Don't underestimate how interesting certain quirky or intellectal aspects of you can be either. A lot of the time people won't care about them, but I've impressed people with my knowledge of some pretty esoteric topics. You never know when that cute girl you're talking to is a closet history buff. It could be another little piece that stacks the interaction in your favor.
Don't feel you're entitled to be seen as interesting just because you have certain knowledge
I'll throw this one in there because I've known people who are really knowledgeable about things like politics, philosophy, and international issues. I could tell they were a bit bitter because they thought they had this strength 'on paper' but no one seemed to care. I guess in a way these topics are the 'right' things to be interested in, but if it doesn't pan out in real life you can't really complain. Just adapt to the circumstances and talk about something else.
